Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
