she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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