i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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