Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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