:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
why is half of my head shaved?
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