I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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