Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
