I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize