I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
high people should be assigned attendants
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
