yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
