so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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