i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
