im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
