were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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