like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
