I hate your face
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
A bitchslap is in order.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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