Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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