If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
