remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
