just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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