Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
