Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
