i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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