the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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