I love black thongs
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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