just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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