i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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