i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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