can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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