Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
