do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
