In the future we'll all be gay
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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