you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
