using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
