i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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