My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize