12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
