i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
