before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
