we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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