i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
