What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
