He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
