i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
