i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
