Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
