My sheets look like a crime scene.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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