Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
