he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
