The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
