I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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