We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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