I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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